Hi, my name is Stevie and I’m a recovering Martha. You know, the lady in the Bible that wanted Jesus to yell at her sister because she wouldn’t help her serve the meal? The one who was so intent on what NEEDED to be done that she didn’t hear the Savior speaking to her, so he had to call her at least twice? The Bible just says, Martha, Martha, but I think it was more like Martha. MARTHA! She was so busy picking up and cooking and serving that she completely ignored the Savior of the world in her house.
If you have ever said “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done” or “I’m the only one who knows how”, or “if I don’t show up they’ll be disappointed”, trying to “fix” everything or the biggie “trying to be all things to all people”, then you are a card carrying, miniscule chore doing Martha and you need to put the broom down, or set the timer on the oven, or put dinner in the crock pot, or plug in a DVD for the kids to watch, so you can just sit down.
I am the Martha of Marthas. I come from a long line of Marthas, and I learned the traits well at the feet of the Mother of all Marthas! (Who by the way denies vehemently that she is, in fact, a Martha, but I know better.) I have heard her utter the fateful “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done” and I said AND. “None of the other wives will, so I have to” AND. My mother now hates that word, AND. In her defense, she is a consummate preacher’s wife. If I had to be a preacher’s wife, I would want her to write the book on how it’s done. I will give her credit, she has learned to say the dreaded “N” word, you know, NO, from time to time.
I was doing well at not being a Martha. I was saying no, and taking care of myself, but then last year happened, and I seemed to go from one crisis to another and my inner Martha started growing and taking hold until here I am, a year later, and I’m exhausted from all the effort. And what have I accomplished? Nothing that can be measured. I’ve spent time with my family and I don’t begrudge any Martha-time they need. The other crises have been handled, but the Martha snowball is rolling, so lately I’ve had to take a big stick and beat Martha back into submission.
I’ve had to start practicing the AND theory on myself, you know. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done, AND what will happen? Will the house fall down, will I lose my job? No. If I don’t show up they’ll be disappointed, AND will they never get over the disappointment? I think not. I will be forgiven and can go the next time. They won’t like me if I’m not all things to all people. AND I got news for me, some people don’t like me anyway. AND theory is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow, but sometimes being a Martha is a pill as well.
I’m not talking about being considerate, like if I go to someone’s house and wash the dishes, that’s being considerate. Being a Martha is washing the dishes, drying them, putting them away, sweeping the floor, cleaning the sink and washing the dog. Martha is considerate on steroids. And let’s face it, she’s high maintenance. She brings along her friends: guilt, exhaustion, and occasionally maybe a little depression.
And the worst part is, she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get that she has the Savior of the world IN HER HOUSE and she’s too busy to listen to him, or to play that game of hide and seek or take the dog for a walk or just be still and know that God is God. Martha for all her good traits is a time thief. Time away from prayer, Bible Reading, and fellowship with other Christians because she had to do just one more thing.
There is another type of Martha as well, the one that is so plugged into a church that she has no family time. The one who is there every time the doors open, for Bible Study, small group, woman’s ministry, ladies’ Bible Class, ad infinitem. Someone who cooks food for and attends every funeral, who tries to visit all the sick and the shut ins every week. Who volunteers at the children’s school, because they “need” help.
While most Marthas aspire to be a Mary, enthralled at Jesus’ feet, the truth is there needs to be a balance, a Mary Martha, if you will, someone who knows when it’s time to listen and when it’s time for chores. When it’s time to play and when it’s time to study. Yes, I think I shall become a Mary Martha, or MM for short.
Hi, I’m Stevie and I’m now an MM, at least as soon as I get all these e-mails answered, and the files organized and the dog washed. Oh, well. Baby steps.
Till next time.
Stevie, MM
Copyright 2010 Stevie Stevens For information contact faithleap@sbcglobal.net
