This was an IDON’TWANNA WEEK. Started with a holiday and then I didn’t want to come back to work, I didn’t want to go to small group, I didn’t want to go to Weight Watchers . . . you name it!
In the midst of the IDON’TWANNA WEEK, I reached a milestone in that I set and reached my Weight Watchers goal. This has been an on-going journey since March of 2008. I didn’t see myself as “whale woman” but knew I needed to lose a few pounds, so off I started, one step at a time, one ounce at a time -- which is really how every journey starts.
I just put my foot out there and off I went. I snacked and munched my way through vacations, holidays and weekends at my parent’s snack laden house. I walked mile after mile burning off calories and sweating. I lost 20 pounds then 30 until I reached yesterday when I had lost a grand total of 47.6 pounds. That is a 2 year old child. That is 190.4 pounds of pressure off my knees when I walk.
Yes, I’m pleased with my success, and the surprised looks I get from people I haven’t seen in a while are great, but that’s not what this is about. This is about that I didn’t want to go to WW yesterday. I knew I had gained, I knew it would be futile, I knew negatives to infinity and beyond, yet I went. Actually I kind of dragged myself there, and look at the good thing that happened! Goal and six weeks to Lifetime membership.
Part of it was that I have been struggling some the past few weeks with the sameness of ordinary life. That nothing major is planned. God and I have been visiting about it, and I got to spend time with my favorite 14 year old and my favorite 10 month old on Sunday. I got to spend Monday with my favorite 10 month old as well. Then I reached a goal yesterday. Been a long time since I set and reached a goal--feels good. Didn’t run out and eat a big Mexican food dinner either. Mostly because I can’t eat big any more, but that is not the reward I want for all this. I posted a before and after picture on Facebook and the comments have been great, but that’s not why I did it either.
Why did I do it? I don’t really know. The doctor suggested I lose a few pounds, but didn’t insist, I just did it because I was nudged by the owner of the temple. I had let my body go and wasn’t honoring God because I was out of shape, so he nudged me. He took the spoon out of my mouth, he helped me walk away from the animal cookies, gravy, birthday cake and large Sonic cokes I kept shoving in my mouth. He walks with me by the river in the 100 degree heat and he smiles down at me at every .2 weight loss. The owner of the temple is pleased with my progress.
And He sees my struggles. That .2 I lost yesterday put me at goal. Sometimes the bigness is in the small things, .2 weight loss, time with special people. And sometimes I just need to climb up in the lap of the one who made me and let him hold me a while, to soothe the hurt feelings, kiss away the tears and let me know he is pleased with me. Remind me that he delights in me. Just as I am, Then he nudges and I become better. He nudges and I WANT to become better.
Not bad for an IDON’TWANNA WEEK.
Here’s to nudges.
Stevie
copywrite © Stevie Stevens, Fort Worth, TX July 2010. For information contact faithleap@sbcglobal.net
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